Becoming a Woman

Photo: Tanya Trofymchuk on Unsplash

Let’s talk about women in society; as a woman who grew up in a community that has patriarchal thought, well, the world still. As a woman who reaches half of 50 years old this year, I have a dilemma. I wonder, think, observe my circle, my friends, the world on how we should behave, the way people see women as vulnerable, and our place in the kitchen. We have this so-called circle of life where we are born — go to school — go to university — find a job — marriage, and that’s it, that’s our circle of life (my version of the process of life, of course).

To get this straight, I am not against women who choose this circle of life because I respect their choices. But this couldn’t apply to a woman that chooses not to follow that circle. I see a lot of women who can do more than she thinks she is capable of but have to bury those ambitions, lower themselves to make their partner shines, to make their partner looks good, or to make those people who think we are shine too bright, to stay dim. People always say, “don’t be too successful; no men will dare to come near you.” Well, if that’s the case, that means that men are not worthy; I don’t have to teach them how to be a man, right?

Why do I have to lower myself to make my partner looks better? Or to make society look at me and say that I am in place? So, I’m not an overachiever; why do I have to hold myself to do the things I want. For me, at least in my circle, that’s what happened, there might be women out there who have a good support system, but some do not.

Often, we are too afraid of what society says instead of listening to our inner voices. The pressure that sometimes almost cracks us. But from my point of view, achieve what you want to achieve, dream as high as you can, don’t let others define you because of your achievement.

For my close friends and people I met and share my thought about marriage, education, and all the grown-up conversation, they often see me as too serious. For them, I’m too outrageous, but my stand is still the same; I am the one who will go through it, not them. I should make a choice that makes me happy, and for every decision I make, there will be consequences, and I have to be responsible for that.

So, have you chosen what you are going to become as a woman?

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