Celebrating quarter-life crisis
Have you ever had these questions in your mind? What is the purpose of my life? What should I do? Why am I here? Have you felt lost? Or do you contemplate a lot lately?
If you have that questions in mind, I would like to say “Congratulations and Welcome to the quarter-life crisis club”. You might think why I congratulate you, right? It’s a concern and I shouldn’t be happy about it. Before I answer, let me tell you more about quarter-life crisis:
According to Bradley University “The quarter-life crisis is a period of uncertainty and questioning that typically occurs when people feel trapped, uninspired and disillusioned during their mid-20s to early 30s”
I’m also almost in my mid-20s feeling disappointment, insecurities, uselessness, stress, and many more. When I get my first job, I ask myself these questions a lot, what is the purpose of my life? Am I going to do this job all my life? What am I searching for? What should I do? What do I really want? Why am I progressing slowly?
I zone out a lot when I’m in my bed, staring at the ceiling of mine, thinking about the future. I am introverted and I’m bad at “communication”. Talking with others is not my specialty, sometimes when I thought I’m good at writing but turns out I am not! Things were not getting easier as I start working and meet a lot of people, it was overwhelming for me, I’m overthinking a lot, cause truthfully, I don’t know how to start the conversation, what should I say? especially when lunch break. This is the time I want to avoid; I will avoid the pantry till everyone is gone, then I will start to eat my lunch. It is more stressing me out when I see other colleagues talking comfortably with one another, I will say to myself I want to be part of that conversation, be part of the laughter, but I quit my job after 9 months of working not because I didn’t like it but things were uncertain back then in my office, I am a fresh graduate, I am 22 years old at that time and I couldn’t rely on my parents all my life, I need to start doing something. There is no pressure from my parents but “me” is the one who pressures me to be better. I will regret every single time I use to procrastinate, and I was like Girl what the f*** are you doing? Get up and do something!
Short after, when I move to my second office, the colleagues are nice but still, there is a wall they carry on, then I feel pressure again! Yeah, people, I am overthinking person special thanks to the Virgo inside me. I ask myself again is this the right place? I can’t tell my concerns to anyone since well, I don’t really have many friends. Mostly those concerns are put up in my head. I did a lot of things starting from watching life motivation, how to deal with a quarter-life crisis, till I end up on mental health and wellbeing.
This sounds classic but I found this word very helpful
“Life isn’t a marathon, it is a process and everyone has their own time to bloom, so why I have to compare myself to others?” (a quote by me to myself).
People would always say to me don’t compare yourself to others! Well, it is easy to say but hard to implement especially in this digital world! I know sometimes what people show on social media is not who they are but still, you can’t stop comparing yourself to them.
But I want to learn! I want to grow, if I’m not moving forward how I could I find out what’s meant for me? How could I see new things, learn new things if I’m not moving forward? Mourn my life wouldn’t take me anywhere, life goes on so I do too.
Let go of the things I couldn’t control and did my best to do the thing I can control (thanks to philosophy stoicism). I stress too many times to do the things that I couldn’t control or try hard to control something that I couldn’t and in the end, I only hurting myself, after that, I tell myself let’s focus on my own growth, let’s try our very best and let the world decided whether it is approved or not! If it’s approved then it’s great but if not let’s also congratulate ourselves that we did our best, giving a slow path to ourselves that I’ve done all the best that I could if it’s not enough for the world I will try my very best one more time.
Quarter-life crisis is a momentum, a process for us, me, ourselves to find out who we really are! There is one article from Forbes who interviewed Robert MacNaughton, the co-founder, and CEO of the Integral Center in Boulder, CO, an organization that is at cutting edge of personal and relational development. He shares how you can hone into a quarter-life crisis and reroute yourself on the path to fulfillment and service. And there is one that catches my eye:
“Uncover your identity by trying new things. You might not know yourself as well as you think you do. “The war of our identity and figuring out who we are and what we care about is our opportunity. This is the reason to get out of bed in the morning”.
Yes, it is a battle to find our identity, our calling, and our purposes in life. You never know that you can do it if you don’t do it. even though your current job is not your dream job, keep learning from it! take benefit from that job! Because you never know if that’s really useful for your future career. I always said to myself I don’t really like to talk in front of people, socialize with others terrified, when I got my first job I always hid behind my manager or I will sit in the corner just watching them talking, but in my current job my manager trust me that I can be a host for an event, she trust me with the communication works even though I know single but nothing about it. But I’m willing to learn because I want to know what I am capable of. The world is sometimes magical to me, things could change faster, something unexpected always come to your door, life is full of surprise. God is full of presents that HE will give us at the right time and on the right moment.
Keep moving even though it’s hard! When you have a problem, think like you are at the bus stop and it’s a heavy rain happening, it’s dark and no bus is coming, if this happens I always tell myself you have two options, First, waiting till someone saves you or Second, move one, walk even though it’s rain, face it till you find a warm and brighter place. Don’t run from your problem! Face it! if you keep running that problem always be behind you, how long you will be running from it?
That’s why the quarter-life crisis is something to be congratulated for. It is a process for you to become strong and to find your true self. You will meet a lot of people that teach you a lesson, people that make you happy, cry, angry, and broken. Those happened to make you as strong as diamond. Your competitor is yourself not others, you have to beat your yesterday self and become a new person. It’s okay to change, people have to change, but the question is are they change to be good or bad? The choice is in you, me, and our hands.
Let’s grow and be a beautiful flower.